Cemjanjinfas is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, two-faced dryad.

Cemjanjinfas created the Sun two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemjanjinfas, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cemjanjinfas, he will jump up and down on your head.

Cemjanjinfas' most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Cemjanjinfas' Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never gather seven nematodes in one place.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not prepare bread while filled with envy.

5. Never play with disobedient children.