Linmatyatvab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, loving grasshopper.

Linmatyatvab created Europe five billion years ago.

If you believe in Linmatyatvab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Linmatyatvab, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Linmatyatvab's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Linmatyatvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not travel during autumn.

3. Never gather four eagles in one place.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Linmatyatvab loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.