Bellnarshav is a god.

She takes the form of a small, annoying hamster.

Bellnarshav created humankind three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bellnarshav, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Bellnarshav, she will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bellnarshav's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Bellnarshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never point your feet toward the west during prayer.

2. Never allow whales to witness sacred rites.

3. Always maintain humility during days of mourning.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

5. Do not make images of living things.