Wapnibvenbat is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, self-assured crane.

Wapnibvenbat created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapnibvenbat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Wapnibvenbat, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Wapnibvenbat's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Wapnibvenbat's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Wapnibvenbat.

2. Feed all hungry manatees.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

5. Never feed strawberries to cats while wearing indigo dresses.