Dunstandan is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, passionate grasshopper.

Dunstandan created oxygen three million years ago.

If you believe in Dunstandan, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dunstandan, he will remove you from existence.

Dunstandan's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Dunstandan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured bats.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Never gather six eagles in one place.

5. Never travel toward the east during summer.