Tinvilweg is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, resourceful guinea pig.

Tinvilweg created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tinvilweg, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tinvilweg, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Tinvilweg's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Tinvilweg's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear purple shorts on sacred days.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Tinvilweg in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not trade with those who eat garlic.

4. Always check lakes for frogs.

5. Never remain prostrate at dawn.