Quagdapteen is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ruthless gnu.

Quagdapteen created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagdapteen, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Quagdapteen, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Quagdapteen's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Quagdapteen's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare cucumbers during winter.

2. Never feed lots of peas to cats while wearing green kilts.

3. Never gather nine whales in one place.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Never look in ponds.