Fadkabyik is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, overgenerous dingo.

Fadkabyik created a down quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fadkabyik, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Fadkabyik, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Fadkabyik's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Fadkabyik's Holy Commandments

1. Never allow dolphins to witness sacred rites.

2. Never adorn your arms with mauve markings.

3. Never speak the names of black holes aloud.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always remove coats before entering holy places.