Kamfetbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fast rat.

Kamfetbiss created the Sombrero Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Kamfetbiss, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Kamfetbiss, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Kamfetbiss' most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Kamfetbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Always act with purity when addressing children.

2. Always make sure there are no hamsters in a building before entering it.

3. Never think ill of sick nematodes.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force near grasshopers while wearing green dresses and balancing six zinc spheres on your head.

5. Always remove jumpers before touching copper.