Nilgabmob is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, thoughtless unicorn.

Nilgabmob created humankind three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Nilgabmob, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Nilgabmob, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Nilgabmob's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Nilgabmob's Holy Commandments

1. Never laugh near shrews.

2. Never think about electromagnetism near snails while wearing white shorts and balancing seven tin spheres on your neck.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never go into brown rooms.