Vadditbem Abparkbodbab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, idiotic dryad.

Vadditbem Abparkbodbab created a photon nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vadditbem Abparkbodbab, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vadditbem Abparkbodbab, he will destroy your home planet.

Vadditbem Abparkbodbab's most sacred site is Dingcun in China.

Vadditbem Abparkbodbab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak of quantum mechanics near sacred fires.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Do not stand on grass.