Fubbassman is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, cheerful sheep.

Fubbassman created snails three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fubbassman, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Fubbassman, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Fubbassman's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Fubbassman's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never think about galaxies.

3. Never feed apples to turtles while wearing trousers.

4. Never travel toward the east during winter.

5. Never allow geese to witness sacred rites.