Rilfodbissbiss is a god.

He takes the form of a small, unjust squid.

Rilfodbissbiss created carbon five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rilfodbissbiss, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Rilfodbissbiss, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Rilfodbissbiss' most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Rilfodbissbiss' Holy Commandments

1. Never feed tomatoes to goats while wearing gray skirts.

2. Always help sick tapirs.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never wear rings.

5. Do not run at crossroads.