Shavrip is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, tiresome tapir.

Shavrip created bats nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Shavrip, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Shavrip, it will turn you into a hamster.

Shavrip's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Shavrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix carrots with oil.

2. Never handle zinc while unclean.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never write about black holes.