Nillsitfon is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, flying narwhal.

Nillsitfon created the planet Jupiter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nillsitfon, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nillsitfon, he will destroy your favourite planet.

Nillsitfon's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Nillsitfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never speak of order in the presence of priests.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Always look after injured ducks.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always remove shorts before touching platinum.