Mipsawhak is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, slow porpoise.

Mipsawhak created carbon nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Mipsawhak, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Mipsawhak, he will try to impress you with rainbows.

Mipsawhak's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Mipsawhak's Holy Commandments

1. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

2. Never travel toward the north during spring.

3. Draw representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Always obey Mipsawhak's priests.