Hogfednatflabtun is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, moody crocodile.

Hogfednatflabtun created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Hogfednatflabtun, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Hogfednatflabtun, she will turn you into a rat.

Hogfednatflabtun's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Hogfednatflabtun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.

2. Do not speak of electromagnetism near sacred fires.

3. Hogfednatflabtun must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate turtles.