Sabpodmab is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, generous badger.

Sabpodmab created tapeworms eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Sabpodmab, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Sabpodmab, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Sabpodmab's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Sabpodmab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Never record numbers.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Never mention birds.

5. You must pray to Sabpodmab three times a day.