Manlunkad is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, self-assured clam.

Manlunkad created carbon five billion years ago.

If you believe in Manlunkad, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Manlunkad, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Manlunkad's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Manlunkad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Do not keep eight seals in a large pit.

3. Always act with patience when addressing children.

4. Do not utter prayers while touching carbon.

5. Do not chop down trees.