Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, slow aardvark.

Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid created the Cigar Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid, it will turn you into a duck.

Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never approach crossroads carrying stone.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid.

3. Never wear fawn kilts.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vogtonktofpashigpibgebpid.