Didladwat Bumzeddot is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unjust bear.

Didladwat Bumzeddot created parasitic wasps five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Didladwat Bumzeddot, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Didladwat Bumzeddot, he will turn you into a slug.

Didladwat Bumzeddot's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Didladwat Bumzeddot's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at comets.

2. Always count to nine before sleeping.

3. Never talk about ultrasonics near aardvarks while wearing black corsets and balancing seven silicon spheres on your legs.

4. Never write about chlorophyll.

5. Always wash your neck before prayer.