Kiplatsand is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, all-powerful whale.

Kiplatsand created silver nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Kiplatsand, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Kiplatsand, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Kiplatsand's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Kiplatsand's Holy Commandments

1. Never run in the presence of nematodes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

3. Erect nine silver sculptures of Kiplatsand on top of important buildings.

4. Learn seven new languages a year.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.