Jonzenfab is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, compassionate beaver.

Jonzenfab created a charm quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Jonzenfab, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jonzenfab, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Jonzenfab's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Jonzenfab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never wear yellow scarves.

3. Always treat tapirs with great respect.

4. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.