Genyikjarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, happy duck.

Genyikjarn created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Genyikjarn, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Genyikjarn, he will torture you forever.

Genyikjarn's most sacred site is Avebury Stone Circle in England.

Genyikjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never paint your face violet.

3. Never wear purple corsets on sacred days.

4. Retreat if nine sheep approach from the west.

5. Never chant while facing south.