Gomjopnel is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, proud fish.

Gomjopnel created bats seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomjopnel, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gomjopnel, he will turn you into a mole.

Gomjopnel's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Gomjopnel's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always face the east before speaking sacred words.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.

5. Never wear dresses.