Mobontvag is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, idiotic horse.

Mobontvag created viruses two billion years ago.

If you believe in Mobontvag, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Mobontvag, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Mobontvag's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Mobontvag's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain kneeling at midnight.

2. Shun those given to greed.

3. Never think about spacetime.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always make sure there are no snakes in a room before entering it.