Sanbidtig is a god.

It takes the form of a chunky, unthinking monkey.

Sanbidtig created snails nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sanbidtig, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Sanbidtig, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Sanbidtig's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Sanbidtig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. You must pray to Sanbidtig five times a day.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.