Quafbafkad is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, almighty squid.

Quafbafkad created the planet Jupiter five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quafbafkad, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Quafbafkad, she will turn you into a hamster.

Quafbafkad's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Quafbafkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip in spring.

2. You must love Quafbafkad.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Never talk about optics near nematodes while wearing purple jumpers and balancing three silicon spheres on your neck.

5. Do not take Quafbafkad's name in vain.