Yarttarkin is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, pitiless pig.

Yarttarkin created an electron two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarttarkin, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yarttarkin, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Yarttarkin's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Yarttarkin's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Do not study deoxyribonucleic acid on holy days.

3. Always wash your neck before prayer.

4. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

5. Never tolerate whispers in holy places.