Tapstragtail is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, bad-tempered capybara.

Tapstragtail created the Small Magellanic Cloud six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tapstragtail, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tapstragtail, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tapstragtail's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Tapstragtail's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your face with cyan markings.

2. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

3. Never paint your legs pink.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Do not resist fate.