Nellarppop is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, compassionate wren.

Nellarppop created Asia eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellarppop, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Nellarppop, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Nellarppop's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Nellarppop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Never feed lots of lemons to otters while wearing mauve boots.

3. Never look at asteroids.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.