Yimpogteen is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, egotistical hippopotamus.

Yimpogteen created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yimpogteen, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yimpogteen, she will throw large rocks at you.

Yimpogteen's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Yimpogteen's Holy Commandments

1. Always count to five before sleeping.

2. Never hurt monkeys.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always cleanse your hands after touching carbon.

5. Shun those given to vanity.