Bitpidkad Dingardun Arnhashad is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, narcissistic porpoise.

Bitpidkad Dingardun Arnhashad created a bottom quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitpidkad Dingardun Arnhashad, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bitpidkad Dingardun Arnhashad, she will curse you with boils.

Bitpidkad Dingardun Arnhashad's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bitpidkad Dingardun Arnhashad's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Erect a large copper sculpture of Bitpidkad Dingardun Arnhashad on top of all buildings.

3. Always help shrews.

4. Never gather eight sharks in one place.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.