Parkfenten is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, contented fly.

Parkfenten created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Parkfenten, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Parkfenten, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Parkfenten's most sacred site is Anony in Madagascar.

Parkfenten's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat parsnips on holy days.

2. Always store aubergines above ground.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate shrews.

4. Never touch ash while tainted.

5. Always help pigs in need.