Quagkaddun Bonkceblop is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, capable fish.

Quagkaddun Bonkceblop created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quagkaddun Bonkceblop, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Quagkaddun Bonkceblop, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Quagkaddun Bonkceblop's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Quagkaddun Bonkceblop's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain prostrate at dawn.

2. Always share garlic with strangers, but never with pigs.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Quagkaddun Bonkceblop loves dogs, so they must be respected.

5. Always act with purity when addressing priests.