Tonkganjap is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ill-tempered hamster.

Tonkganjap created carbon six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkganjap, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Tonkganjap, it will turn you into a small brown duck.

Tonkganjap's most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Tonkganjap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never think about gravity near dolphins while wearing green boots and balancing seven silver spheres on your chest.

3. Never pray while filled with pride.

4. Never think about fluid mechanics near mites while wearing fawn jumpers and balancing nine lead spheres on your head.

5. Never allow foxes to sleep beneath your roof.