Dunkopcet is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unsympathetic pig.

Dunkopcet created a Higgs boson four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dunkopcet, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Dunkopcet, she will turn you into a plant.

Dunkopcet's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Dunkopcet's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dwarf planets.

2. Never handle platinum while unclean.

3. Always wear plain coats during rituals.

4. Erect a giant turquoise sculpture of Dunkopcet in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not chop down trees.