Quarthinmobpib is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, emotional salamander.

Quarthinmobpib created Africa four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quarthinmobpib, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quarthinmobpib, it will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Quarthinmobpib's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Quarthinmobpib's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Never gather eight geese near walls.

4. Pray towards the west.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.