Nurtkarmob Jamfabbess is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, bad-tempered fox.

Nurtkarmob Jamfabbess created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nurtkarmob Jamfabbess, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Nurtkarmob Jamfabbess, she will try to impress you with trees.

Nurtkarmob Jamfabbess' most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Nurtkarmob Jamfabbess' Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Nurtkarmob Jamfabbess seven times a day.

2. Do not utter prayers while touching lead.

3. Never mix peas with water.

4. Do not speak sacred words in autumn.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nurtkarmob Jamfabbess.