Bemcankiplop Bunbinnab is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, ruthless cat.

Bemcankiplop Bunbinnab created a down quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Bemcankiplop Bunbinnab, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bemcankiplop Bunbinnab, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Bemcankiplop Bunbinnab's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bemcankiplop Bunbinnab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peas to horses while wearing dresses.

2. Do not speak sacred words in spring.

3. Never think about ultrasonics.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.