Koptar is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, passionate clam.

Koptar created a photon four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Koptar, it will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Koptar, it will strike you with lightening.

Koptar's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Koptar's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your legs before prayer.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Never tolerate laughter in holy places.

4. Koptar loves squirrels, so they must be honoured.

5. Do not drink alcohol.