Jiggancatfum is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, uncaring naga.

Jiggancatfum created the planet Venus eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Jiggancatfum, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Jiggancatfum, it will turn you into a dog.

Jiggancatfum's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Jiggancatfum's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Jiggancatfum.

2. Never talk about aardvarks.

3. Learn seven new languages a year.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never speak the names of asteroids aloud.