Venbellfem is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, loving hamster.

Venbellfem created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Venbellfem, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Venbellfem, it will destroy your home galaxy.

Venbellfem's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Venbellfem's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Venbellfem.

2. Do not prepare rice while wearing jumpers.

3. Run away if eight tapirs approach from the north.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never eat nuts on days of mourning.