Kapcudhakbonkfom is a god.

She takes the form of a giant, dishonest fly.

Kapcudhakbonkfom created bats four million years ago.

If you believe in Kapcudhakbonkfom, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Kapcudhakbonkfom, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Kapcudhakbonkfom's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Kapcudhakbonkfom's Holy Commandments

1. Never adorn your face with violet markings.

2. Never eat limes.

3. Never feed lots of beans to grasshopers while wearing indigo skirts.

4. Never feed tomatoes to whales while wearing gray coats.

5. Never allow sheep to sleep beneath your roof.