Dissweebonk is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, selfish deer.

Dissweebonk created silver seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dissweebonk, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Dissweebonk, he will cry a lot.

Dissweebonk's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Dissweebonk's Holy Commandments

1. Dissweebonk must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Never talk about black holes.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always cleanse blood with water.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.