Quaflatzim is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, dishonest crane.

Quaflatzim created Mount Everest nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Quaflatzim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Quaflatzim, he will try to impress you with trees.

Quaflatzim's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Quaflatzim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never record names.

3. You must pray to Quaflatzim four times a day.

4. Do not consume peanuts at dawn.

5. Do not count beyond three during ceremonies.