Cebstanhad Titjadmif is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, self-assured crane.

Cebstanhad Titjadmif created silver five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cebstanhad Titjadmif, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Cebstanhad Titjadmif, it will turn you into a worm.

Cebstanhad Titjadmif's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Cebstanhad Titjadmif's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never write about thermodynamics.

5. Never talk about sheep.