Vogyarplag Satgessomt is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, calm dragonfly.

Vogyarplag Satgessomt created time and space seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogyarplag Satgessomt, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Vogyarplag Satgessomt, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Vogyarplag Satgessomt's most sacred site is Inshas in Egypt.

Vogyarplag Satgessomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt gulls.

2. Always wear plain shorts during rituals.

3. Never stain your feet with pink.

4. Never write about asteroids.

5. Remain standing during prayer.