Pitzancan is a god.

He takes the form of a minute, humane hippopotamus.

Pitzancan created a down quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pitzancan, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Pitzancan, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Pitzancan's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Pitzancan's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain bowed at midday.

2. Paint representations of planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

3. Always wash your chest before prayer.

4. Do not eat beans.

5. Do not consume melons at dawn.