Garfotgum is a god.

He takes the form of a slender, blissful jellyfish.

Garfotgum created the planet Saturn three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Garfotgum, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Garfotgum, he will torture you forever.

Garfotgum's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Garfotgum's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Always share melons with strangers, but never with moths.

3. Never mark doors with gray.

4. Never chant in holy places.

5. Do not utter prayers while touching tin.